Self-inflicted injuries

I must truly apologize to myself
I must apologize for all the self-inflicted wounds i gave
all the bruises and deep cuts
all the lashing out and slandering thoughts
for all the self-inflicted wounds with my own words

During the conference, i got to see three of the most amazing girlfriends of mine tell there story of how they truly felt like "the ugly duckling", that was preached on thursday. And i was shocked. shocked at the fact that the thought of them even being remotely close to that story was upsurd. For i too have felt that way...
So what's the difference????
The difference was the reasoning, for they truly had the right to say what they've said. Through emotions and expereince (and even maybe some words spoken to them), they have every right to be upset. But for me, i caused my own pain. I told myself all the horrible things of being ashamed and unwanted. The fact that there was favoritism amongst them...because i thought all the preTty people stuck together...that's y they could never talk to me. I allowed myself to be consumed with lies, given by myself.
Little did i know, and definitely got confromation for, the fact that I was so past how i allowed myself to think. and that now more than ever my friends need me. For i have gone through and overcame what they are going through now....
But how to gain there trust????
how to show that they can talk to me about anything???
how to show that they can trust me, once again????
uuummpphhh....idk???

But i do know that ugly ducklings don't exist in the midst of greatness...which we all have:
so to my "Jamaican Queen", "Medford Wife", and "NU Grad"....WE ARE SWANS, WITH A WINGSPAN SO GREAT, NOONE CAN KEEP US FROM SOARING!!!!!